I won't let go.

I heard this song a few days ago, and there were an infinite number of tears shed (not that surprising if you know how emotional I am).  There are so many responsibilities that come with being a mother.  Protection is very high on my list.  Even though I can't see his face or know what color his eyes are or know his personality yet, when I think about him having a tummy ache, falling down,  getting his feelings hurt, getting his heart broken, etc., it already hurts my heart.  It's crazy the emotions you can already have for your child before you even meet them. 

Happy Birthday, Baby Daddy

In 29 years, you have gone from that cotton-top cutie to a great man, husband, puppy daddy, and soon-to-be baby daddy.  You make me proud every day.  I can't believe we met when we were 21 (when we had it all figured out) and now we are entering the last year in our 20s.  I couldn't imagine my life without you, and if our son turns out to be anything like you, I will be one proud mama.

It is actually 3:19 a.m. on February 26th.  Bryan's birthday was yesterday, the 25th.  I had the busiest day ever and am just now getting around to this.....at 3:19 a.m.  I loathe waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep.  Practicing for motherhood, I guess.  Thank goodness for my blog.  There is nothing on television at 3:19 a.m.  We are at 26 weeks.  Only 14 more to go!!!

Step One

Baby Boy's room is officially painted. I wasn't allowed to paint, so Bryan took on the task all by himself.  I have to say, he did a pretty good job.  I am very happy with it.  We are getting new carpet for the three rooms on Saturday, which I am very excited about.  I am not excited about preparing the rooms for carpet to be put in. 

Thanks to his Gigi (my mom) and Bryan's mom (grandma name TBD), he has furniture, but it's still in boxes.  We wanted to wait until the room was painted and carpet was put in until Bryan takes on that task....all by himself. :) His bedding has been ordered, but it is being made, so it won't be here for a while.  I can't wait to see the put-together product.  For now, all you get is a painted wall.  Very exciting.

Back to school.....

.....kind of.  We started Prepared Childbirth class on Monday night.  I was all ready to go with my pillow and blanket that we made the night before.  You can't tell from the picture, but the inside says I love Mommy and I love Daddy all over it.  It will be the perfect blanket for Baby Boy to have out at the soccer fields, but for right now, we are borrowing it for our class.

Our class was very interesting, and I use that word with two different meanings.  I did learn some things.  For example, the instructor (Cathy) had two men go up and hold out a blanket while she filled it with 28 pounds of "stuff" that will be in my belly at the end of this pregnancy.  One of those men was Bryan.  He said his hands were hurting so bad from holding it, that he almost had to ask her if he could put it down.  I was really glad he was one of the volunteers.  :)  While we did learn some things, some of it was pretty boring, and some of it was pretty awkward.

We were definitely the most immature in the class.  Bryan and I did a lot of LOL'ing when no one else was.   At the end of class, we all had to get on the floor and do some relaxation and breathing techniques.  This was fine at first.  All of the mommies had to lay down on our blankets and pillows with the lights off and close our eyes, which actually was pretty relaxing....UNTIL she asked the dads to gently massage our arm.  This did it for me.  I couldn't hold it in.  I burst into laughter.  I'm pretty sure I ruined the experience for everyone.  Cathy actually said out loud, "She won't be laughing when she's having contractions."  Great.  Cathy hates me.  Five more classes to go.

It is pretty uncomfortable to squat down already.  Who knows if I'll even be able to do this in two months.  All I wanted to do was give my sweet puppy girl a kiss before we left her for our 2-hour class.

Much more comfortable.

Pale much?  I don't think I've been this pale since I was 10.  All worth it, though.

Breech

Baby Boy is breech at this point and has been for a while (the entire time?).  If he stays like this and doesn't flip, this means Mama Rudd will have to have a C-Section.  Dr. Cowboy Boots (Bryan's name for him because he wears cowboy boots with his scrubs) said it is very possible that he will flip between now and delivery, BUT at 32 weeks, if he hasn't, we are going to go ahead and schedule a C-Section.  We will schedule it at that point because apparently they book up pretty quick.  If he happens to flip at any time, we will cancel the C-Section.  I feel no certain way about having a C-Section; I just want what is best for my little munchkin.  If he is meant to come into this world that way, then that's the way we'll have to do it.  I have tried and am trying to keep a very open mind about having a baby.  I know every baby and mommy's body is different and so many things will be completely out of my control.  The strangest thing to me is that we are already talking about this.  My next appointment (in four weeks), I will be almost 30 weeks, which means two weeks later, I will go back to see if we are scheduling a C-Section.  This pregnancy really is flying by.  I'm sure I won't feel like that in my 8th or 9th month, but at this point, things have gone by pretty quickly.  

Oh....I also had my first stranger acknowledge me being pregnant today.  A man that works at the convenience store said to me, "What's up, Baby Mama"?  It made me laugh out loud.  I see people give my belly the eye, but no one has been brave enough to make a comment.  I don't blame them.  Even if it is VERY obvious to me that someone is pregnant, I still get nervous about saying anything about it.  You never know. :)  

My Valentine.....

......is really cute.  

We had such a great night together.  I got to spend it with my boys, one by my side and one in my belly.  First off, we agreed that we would not spend money on gifts this year, just like we did last year when I ended up with a Michele watch.  This year.... 

The adorable monkey is for Baby Boy's room.  What a thoughtful daddy.  The chocolates are amazing.  It's a really good thing my glucose test is Thursday and not today.  The point of this story:  I am spoiled and my husband is a smart man to know that even though we agree on no gifts, his wife is going to be really excited when flowers are delivered.

I, on the other hand, was a terrible wife and didn't get him anything, except for this:

We had lunch with Bryan's mom at Pappasitos and then dinner at Taverna.  Bryan had lamb chops and lobster, and I had pizza....no kidding.  My husband takes me to a nice Valentine's Day dinner, and I have pizza.  There is just something about pizza at an actual Italian restaurant that sounded amazing to me last night.  I was very pleased with my selection.  AND I didn't wear sweatpants to dinner.....

This Valentine's Day will definitely be remembered.  Thanks, Honey, for making it so special.  I am truly one lucky girl.

Oh...I almost forgot the best of all.  Last night Bryan gave me a bracelet that has our son's name on it....full name.  He finally committed to a name, which I've been trying to get him to do for the last month.  My baby has a name....I'll tell you what it is soon.  :)

I'm an addict.

I am officially addicted to sweets.  I have always been a lover of most things sweet: chocolate, candy, ice cream, etc., but I always tried to control myself and only give myself exceptions for special occasions.  I did really good my first trimester and continued to eat healthy, but the second trimester has gone downhill.  I thought after Christmas things would get better.  I mean, how can you not eat sweets around the holidays?  But now it is February and tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and candy and cookies are everywhere.  It's really not fair.  

We went to a Super Bowl party last weekend and I made chocolate chip cookies and chocolate-covered strawberries.  A few days later, I decided to make a batch of chocolate-covered strawberries entirely for myself.  Bryan has had a few, but I have pretty much polished them off myself this week. 

  
After tomorrow, I am REALLY going to cut back on the sweets.  I know I am pregnant and should enjoy it while I can, but it is getting a little ridiculous, and I know all the sugar I am consuming is not good for my precious boy.  I really need him to like veggies and fruits.  Wish me luck......starting February 15th.  Oh, did I mention my husband  makes the best chocolate milkshake you've ever had in your life.....and he makes me one anytime I want????

The six-month mark

I can't believe I am 6 months pregnant.  Time really has flown by, which means this baby will be here before I know it.  My belly is starting to get a little uncomfortable already.  I am starting to move a little slower than usual.  I figured out today that it takes me a little longer to set up all my equipment for a deposition than it used to.  I'm still able to make it to the gym and take some of the same classes that I was pre-big belly, but some things are starting to get hard to do.....like a plank.  Yeah, not a cute sight.  And for anyone wondering, I was told it was perfectly okay for me to include abs in my workout as long as it was comfortable.  Planks -- not so comfortable these days.

Oh...and please forgive the not-so-cute attire that I am usually in for belly pics.  The minute I get home from any place, I put on the most comfortable clothes I can find.  There is nothing like the feeling of changing out of work clothes and putting on a nice pair of stretchy pants (soft pants...inside joke for my mom).  I'm sure one day when I show my son these belly pics (because he will be really interested), he will be wondering about my wardrobe.  

I really do feel sorry for Bryan.  He doesn't get to see the dressed-up version of me very often anymore.  He usually leaves for work every morning before me, and I'm either still in pajamas or a bathrobe.  He also usually gets home from work after me, and I'm usually in pajamas or sweat pants.  On a side note, if you don't know, my husband works very hard and doesn't get home until almost 10 o'clock some days from work (day job and then soccer practice).  I mean, who isn't in their pajamas at 10.....or 6?  

How I know he's going to be a good daddy.....

This was one of my favorite pictures from Christmas for so many reasons, the Number 1 reason being that it shows my hubby sitting patiently with my 3-year-old nephew, teaching him how to play his new V-Tech game while my nephew sits patiently to learn.  Number 2 reason, if you'll notice, my sweet little nephew has his cowboy boots on with his pajamas.....how can you not love him?  


From the time Britton was born, Bryan has been so sweet and patient with him.  I can't remember how old Britton was, but we were in town (Odessa) visiting the fam, and me, my mom, and SIL wanted to go to the movies.  Bryan said he would watch Britton for a couple of hours while we went.  Pretty sure that was his first time to stay alone with a child under the age of 2.  While we were gone, Britton, like any normal child would, filled his diaper up pretty quick....and I mean really filled it up.  I'm not sure how this happened, but between three grown women, we didn't realize that Britton was out of diapers before we went to catch a quick movie. (I don't consider myself responsible; I was the only one without children at the time)  Instead of panicking or calling any of us, my hubby loaded Britton into the car (thank goodness we remembered to leave the car seat for emergencies) with no diaper on under his pants, drove to the nearest store, carried him in with no diaper on, bought diapers, got back home.....no big deal.  I'm also pretty sure that might have been his first time to change a diaper.  

When I think of him being a daddy, I always remember that.  He didn't freak out like a lot of guys would.  He calmly did what he had to do.  I love him for that day and for how sweet he is to my nephew.  I can't wait for all the diapers he's going to have to change once Baby Boy gets here.  :)

Growing belly

Don't let these pictures fool you.....I started taking pictures of my baby bump at 8 weeks (very bottom pic), 12 weeks, 16 weeks, and 20 weeks (very top pic...sorry it's not a bare belly pic), but I will be 24 weeks on Friday, so there will be a new belly pic added then, which is definitely bigger than any of these pictures.

My little boy is over a pound now, and I am feeling him move more and more. His daddy got to feel him kicking (I guess that's what it is) a few days ago, but that was the most he has decided to share with us since. What an amazing feeling, though. Every time I feel him, it brings a smile to my face. I am already getting antsy and can't wait to see what his sweet little face looks like. I have a slight feeling he is going to look like his dad. :) I can't believe we only have 3 1/2 months left. So much to do in such a small amount of time, but I am so ready to meet my son.